When we bid the day goodbye
This Christmas, I got the least present. But, I also got the one present that I desire so much. I am thankful. I really am.
Bond No.9 High Line, you’re mine at last.
With all the mind wars that’re going on..
Work has been killing me from the inside out, sucking my life out slowly.
The tiredness that accumulates over the time has really taken its toll on my body. I can feel it. I am becoming more fragile, constantly tired.
Every time the clock strikes 7pm, I feel restless, no mood to do anything, what more to listen and pay attention in lectures.I would reach home almost midnight during school nights, rendering me restless to do anything else but to sleep once I get home.
My mind is constantly debating whether I should quit this job. The job that i have just gotten last month. I am only on my fourth week of work, and I seriously cant find any motivation to continue working here.
Would I be bad labeled as someone who quits her job in less than a month?
Would it be hard for me to get a job in the same company in time to come? (when I am ready for the workforce)
Some of my closer friends would know how tortured I feel working here since the first week. They have been listening to my complaints days and nights. But there is a part of me that refuses to give up and a small part of me hope that things will get better, eventually.
I cant quite figure out just yet what do I want to do ultimately, what kind of life do I want to lead now. Sometimes I think that it is very hard to juggle both working and studying at a same time. But then, there are alot of people who are currently in the same state.
Who am I to complain? What right do I have to complain?
But I wish my life would have been easier, simpler.
Eventually, everything will be about money. Will I be able to survive and enjoy my life without the full time work?
With freedom, comes lesser money. But with money, comes greater fun.
The art of expressing
Reading through my old blog http://vulnerable-vii.blogspot.com/ looking for some inspiration to blog. I noticed that I was more artistic and expressive back then. I knew how to express myself through writing. Now, I just can’t do it. I don’t know how to express my feeling, not in words, not in action, but in my mind.
I know how I feel in my mind, but none of my actions, express those feelings. Somehow all of those feelings get lost and tangled in my complicated brain. Or there are just too much of those feelings I want to keep to myself to the point I feel like I have been living in denial all these whiles.
What can I do to change all these? I am so tired of not being able to express myself.Its too mind consuming to keep all those feelings to myself.
